Feeling that anxiety and fear began to come across me again. Knowing I had to shift my thoughts I reached for a devotional and this sentence began to turn my mind around”
“I say this a lot, but don’t look at how big your mountains are;look at how big your God IS. I encourage you to stay strong and expect God to intervene on your behalf”
For God to intervene on my behalf. That was it. The reason I tend to get anxious and fearful is because in my heart I have this misconception that God is not going to act on my behalf. That I will go through endless trials, one harder than the other, and God will help me but He is not about to intervene in my life. Somehow I have been treating God as this great entity but not my loving father.
Thats when the Holy Spirit switched my mind to the cross. I remembered and began meditating that Jesus died for the sins of the world. Yes thats true. But that is so impersonal. Christ died for me. When He was on that cross, suffering, and His body had been pierced through, I was the reason He was on that cross. Me. Geri Kuykendall. 13769 Francisco Drive. If I had been the only person in the world He would still have died just for me. And He endured such pain so that I could today live powerfully. With authority over fear. Like, I am the boss. I have the power of Christ in me. God is for me, He is not against me. Yes of course If He allowed Christ to suffer for me then yes of course He is going to intervene in my life. And He will intervene with Goodness.
Whenever I become fearful, I am buying into the lie that God is not for me. That He doesn’t love me that much. That He sees all that I do in His name, how much I love Him, how I search for Him, and it just doesn’t affect Him. He doesn’t care that much.
But what a lie. He LOVES ME. AND its big, huge, unstoppable, powerful, changing, indescribable, uncontainable, love. And its all aimed at me. That kind of love does not stay stagnant, nor is it indifferent. It’s the opposite of all that.
LIES, LIES, LIES, once again my God, my father who loves me, who’s child I am, has come to renew my mind and my spirit.
Oh and I have power. Power of the enemy, power over fear, over my thoughts, over my circumstances,
I am in the win.